so, aside from getting my new job underway, i found a place that is perfect for me and buddha. it's a cute little 2 bedroom house off of nebraska, with a nice big yard for my baby to run. my roommate is a cool guy too, and his girlfriend is super nice! it's just him who lives there but i guess she spends weekends, but i'm fine with it. i don't care about anything at this point besides having my dog. it's so depressing to wake up everyday and not have him next to me all cuddled up like he used to when he was just a baby. but [not] soon enough i'll have him back with me, and that makes me happy! anyway, i probably won't be wiring too much more because i don't get comments or feedback or anything, so i guess it's kinda pointless. i'll update periodically when i have time between working 45hrs a week.

YAY! i got a job! i'm so happy! and it's not too far from where i am now or where i'll be moving to. it's at a call center handling both inbound/outbound customer service calls. for the first week or two, i'll probably be stuck helping end the latest project they are doing, which is collecting political data from around the country..bleh. but, as soon as thats over, i'll be in a training class for inbound customer service for Verizon Wireless, which starts at $12 an hour, anywhere up to $20 (depending on your call volume per hour)! It's a great environment, too. Not too hectic and crazy, but at the same time never boring. My boss is SO nice, and the rest of the night shift staff (i'll be working nights for now, and i can change that if i want..'nights' is any hours i feel like working between 4-10) seems cool, mostly people my age. There is a lot of room for advancement within the company as well, which is cool. They really like all of my customer service and sales experience, and the fact that i have previous call center experience ( i did verizon business DSL outbound calling back home one summer) didn't hurt either, which is why they're even considering me for inbound calls. They usually don't hire new people straight in to inbound, but because of my strength in customer care they're confident i'll do very well. as am i. i'm really happy about this job and the fact that this could very well help me out of my current financial crisis-and quick! i forgot to ask if pay was weekly or biweekly, and if it's weekly that would ROCK. i start tomorrow at 4. wish me luck! : )

i finally did something today that i have been wanting to do for SO LONG; i (figuratively, so far..) told my boss to go EAT A DICK..i quit! i went and collected my pay, turned in my keys, and threw up a big ol' middle finger to bay street. i bid you ADIEU, bay street piercings, and i hope you burn to the ground. 6 months of sitting outside in this retarted florida weather, dealing with rich bitches all day for a measely $7 an hour is so not worth it. i should've quit 5 months ago. so, my boss can go fuck himself as i'm sure he will, because i know he was going to fire me anyway. the problem is..i haven't gotten a fallback job yet. i'm just so fed-up and overly stressed that one more day out there would've surely been my breaking point. i've been sitting online most of the day sifting through ads on jobing, career builders, hotjobs, etc submitting my resume anywhere at this point. within the next two weeks i am moving (again) to either north st. pete or largo, haven't decided yet. i have to meet some people and see some houses this week and make a decision. but first and most importantly i neeeed a job! this is gonna be so hard, like everything else in my life. i'm really getting sick of hearing myself complain and i wish i could have just five fucking minutes of uninterrupted happiness..no stress, drama, problems, people..sigh. i miss my dog like crazy of course..thats probably my biggest source of stress at the moment. that, and all i keep hearing from my mother is, 'if you moved home, i could pay for your place to live. if you moved home, i could pay for your school and a new car. if you moved home...'. sounds like heaven, right? ideal for anybody with my problems except..if you knew my mother, you would understand why i won't go home and would rather struggle and be on my own.

sometimes i just wish i could disappear completely.

sometimes in my life, and i mean rarely, randomly good things happen. things that i smile knowing about and can always reflect on. last night i was at work, in the 95* heat lugging around a heavy-ass tarp (closing duties suck), and this guy comes up (after doing one of those circle-around things you guys do..you know what i'm talking about). first he complimented my newest tatttoo, and he was covered from head to toe. he told me he was a tattoo artist from chicago and had just moved over here from orlando. then, he tells me he's a concert promoter and asks me if i like the walkmen (FUCK YES I DO!). THEN, he hands me one free ticket and tells me he hope's he would see me monday night! and to top it all off, as he was walking away he came back...for my number! proceeded to call me 15 mins later and make plans for macdinntons on friday ($10 sink or swim from 6-8..woohoo!). all that and i'm pretty sure i looked like a drowned rat! wtf! it made my night and made me smile. also i'm going to be moving in with Gabe (my fucking LIFESAVER) for a week or so until we/i find a more permanent place so i can bring my dog up. i miss him so much. now all i need is another job so i can quit this HORRIBLE excuse for part-time sales. i asked yet again for a raise..i've been at $7/hr for 4 and a half months, working there a total of 6 months. and he's just now starting to show me any 'comission' bonusus (like an extra $3 a day..he's so fuckin' cheap!)..soo fuck that, big time. i have a 2nd interview with the st pete times sales dept next week and hopefully it works out even though it's only 20 hr/wk. it's better than nothing! and soon as my back gets ANY better, i'm so going back to serving.
anybody wanna help me move my shit tomorrow (Friday)? i don't have much and i'll get the gas and lunch. call me cause i'm going to have to pack up my computer..oh noes! 954 649 2840

it's been so hard trying to find a place. thank god for nikki (without you i'd be...), who signed me up on roommates.com and got me a great head start on the process. i've met and contacted several people so far, and i'm glad i acctually have choices. and best of all, all of the places i'm looking into are pet friendly...meaning, i will finally be able to be with my baby dog again. i miss him so much..and it hurts so bad not to be with him everyday. that dog means more to me than anything, in such an undescribable way. i know when i finally have him again, my life will be instantly better.
i'm still in the (long and extremely difficult!) process of job hunting. i have decided that i will be enrolling in cosmetology school when i find a high enough paying job to support all my bills. i figure, a cosmetology license is an awesome thing to have once i go back to school to finish my business degree. it's basically a guarenteed job and money all the time, especially since i've got my heart set on going to Paul Mitchell Salon Academy (ooo fancy! lol). who's gonna let me cut their hair? ;) i really am good, though.
so at least i've got some plans for the next 6 months..i just hope i find a place and a job so that my plans can be put into action. i'm sick of sitting at the fucking yuppie international mall all day in the heat selling bellyrings to 15 year olds who have daddy's credit card...and then want a discount. the day i quit. . . !
on a completely seperate note, men..or should i say 'boys', need to learn to make up their damn mind, and maybe think things through once in a while before they go being reckless and not expecting consequential problems to arise. or at least don't say something you don't mean just to justify your actions. ahem. that is all.

so here i am, seemingly where i was again in march; i need to be moved out soon, and find a place adequate and cheap enough to house me and my dog. i'm looking into a particular large house with rooms for rent, but haven't yet heard back from one of the tennants about if my dog will be OK to come. i hate moving..it's so disruptive and well basically just inconvienent. but i will be happy once i am with my dog again.
it hasn't been all bad over the past weekend, though. i finally got started on an elaborate chest-piece tattoo that i've been planning for too long now. here's a photo of the main part; it doesn't do the brilliant colors and sharp lines any justice.



3+ hours (with a few beaks, of course) of tattooing in a very painful spot will play tricks on your gag reflex. i was ok though, toughed it out and sat through the entire thing, and i am so glad i did. i love it and can't wait to finish it.

also, i would just like to say thanks to Nikki & JM, and say that i like meeting new people :)

i woke up so cold.

not temperature wise.

i just...i miss being held. i miss waking up with arms around me. hell, i miss waking up to my dog even more.

i need a place for me and my dog. why can't i just be happy?

this was a pretty relaxing weekend. i love not having to work saturdays and sundays anymore! friday night i went to remmington's for the battle of the bands to support chase & the rest of the guys in Southworth. they rocked the house as usual, but unfortunately lost to some other band, who is Anberlin's new project. it was fun, and we got drunk so it wasn't a bad night. Saturday, morning i went for a long overdue adjustment at my chiropractor. he moved to a much bigger office on hillsborough & dale mabry with an on-site Accupuncturist. after my routine adjustment, he surprised me by telling me that he had allready arranged for a session. it was my firt one in month, and it was so amazing. the docotr was wonderful and she really knew what she was doing. she inserted over 30 needles into my neck, lower back, hands, feet, hip, shoulders, and mid-back. i love how i draw instant pain relief and a really marked range of motion improvment that what i can normally do. i feel less restricted and like i am healing faster, too. i will be seeing her 3 times weekly for sessions. yay! after that, i was stoked to be going to my tattoo appointment at 6pm, and hadn't yet seen the design that he drew for me. when i got there, and he finished eating, he showed me the drawing..and i hated it. he didn't listen at all to what i wanted, and completely changed my design. since we both had such different opinions of what would look good, we compromised on just doing the entire stencil of the chestpiece. the appointment was for today, and when i showed up, he had called in sick (more like hungover). i was SO pissed that he didn't even bother to get ahold of me to cancel, so i took my business over to Designs for Life, right near my house. the guy loved my idea and is really into collaborating with me to come up with something amazing, which i feel much more comfortable with, and ultimately more excited to do this tattoo. the trip wasn't a total waste, because Paul did another cool piercing on me, my 'snug' which is another strange ear piercing. i'll post a photo when i get them off my camera. i also managed to talk to my piercer Zac (seriously, for once!) about apprenticing me since Paul is almost done. he told me he would seriously consider it, discuss it witht the GM (Atomic has an overabundance of apprentice's this summer) and let me know. i hope it works out! this morning was good, though. Me, Nikki, Tony Hart, Ashley, and Jim went to Mediera beach for most of the day, laid out, smoked out, drank and relaxed in the amazingly warm water. so at least i had a good (half) of today.
i'll be working my reular schedule this week (M-F, except Thurs) and will be job hunting in between. this sitting outside in 100* weather for a measely $7 an hour is NOT cutting it! if anybody knows of anywhere hiring, let me know! i have lots of sales and customer service experience.

[edit]:

it's been a long day, and it's barely even started yet. i woke up at a quarter to 8 to get ready for a job interview, went to it and hopefully nailed it (i have to interview with the other manager first to know for sure). then i went to my chiropractor, but apparently he decided to take a long weekend so..no treatment for me today, which sucks, because it's not been a good week at all (as far as my backpain goes..). this weekend was fun, though. firday night christina and i went to whiskey park north, and it was both our first time there. we went with ben himes of the tampa bay yankees and some of his friends (baseball players plz!) and had a really fun night. saturday night nikki, jm, and myself went to olive garden and just chilled and watched movies. sunday, me and christina went to the tampa bay yankees game, but that was cut short when christina fainted from a mild case of heat stroke (or in acctuality, smoking and drinking too much and then being in the sun..lol) but after medics treated her and i brought her home, she was fine. i also talked to my tatoo artist and he is going to start to draw up my idea for my chest piece, well the start of it anyway. it's going to be a 3 part piece, probably about 8 hours of work total. i'm not telling what it is yet because i want to post pictures when i get it done. so, you'll see this weekend :)

...

and i don't wanna live in the ghetto : (

anybody know of anything in the area, a house or an apartment, at this point i don't care, for under $500 a month that allows large dogs? if so, please leave me a comment or anything, and soon. thanks. i need a place by the 5th at the very latest..and that's pushing it.

one of the prettiest skies i've seen all summer while i was coming over the skyway bridge.

why isn't he as miserable as he made me? why does he get to be happy, when i suffer inside everyday, the pain only growing instead of receding.

why is he allowed to be happy, when he is the one who lied and manipulated? and i am left alone to dwell on the fact that i'm the stupid one for getting hurt and being taken advantage of. for letting my guard down for a chance to love and be loved. all of it ripped away in one second, leaving the void to be filled with nothing but blackness.

why is everything so unfair?

98 motherfucking pit-staining dehydration-inducing degrees outside..and i have to sit in it and sell fucking bellyrings. kill me. kill me now PLEASE. jesus h. christ i need a new job.

well, tonight i'm going to the Yellowcard/RKK show..probably. everyone who was supposed to go with me sold out, even the guy who's ticket i was going to pay for! LAAAME. nobody wants to be my last-second date, do they? i promise to get you drunk and try to take advantage! hah..i'm glad it got moved from Jannus to St. Theatre (even though i LOVE jannus..its too hot/rainy for an outdoors show), at least i'll be inside for it.

oh well. if i wind up not going, does anybody want to do something tonight?

oh, one more quick note before i'm off to work...


i love you, nikki : )



that's all.